I’ve been married since autumn of 2021, but I’ve known my husband since middle school. And I’ve known from the beginning that he loves a good hit of adrenaline from time to time; it used to really freak me out! I would always say “be safe” or “be careful” when he was on his way to an adventure, but I have discovered that although safety and care are being tended to, they are within an inevitable element of risk and danger – that’s the adrenaline part. Now, I have changed my lingo to “be wise” or “use discernment”. I send him out the door with a prayer, trusting that if he’s meant to walk back through that door, he will.

Unfortunately, my husband is plagued with what I like to call a time-ego. Without fail, he always underestimates how much time it will take to do something, or he always overestimates his ability to rush and get things done. He is ever-present in the moment, not a dweller of the past or an over-planner of the future. He’s always losing track of time in the people and activities he is engulfed in. It’s a beautiful experience to be with someone who is fully in the moment but when you combine this lack of time consciousness and an adrenaline-rich adventure, the product is often a worried wife. Where does the worry stem from? Worry is the outward condition of an internal fear of losing him. It is a negative way of viewing the true root: love and a desire to be with him. Now, this is a great reminder to think of at the moment he pulls into the driveway because love is not the emotion I feel when he arrives late from an afternoon of cliff-jumping with the boys.

Worried thoughts are cyclical. We can talk our minds out of the worry and then right back in; it’s endless, it’s exhausting, and it’s not from the Lord. The antidote to worry is faith. A verse I love is in Luke 12 “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?”. Not only do I find it humorous that Jesus likens adding time to our life to a “very little thing”, but it also demonstrates an important truth. Worry serves absolutely no purpose at all. It isn’t proactive, it doesn’t change any outcome for the better, and it wastes your mental capacity. There are healthy expressions of concern, identified by rational reactions to threats – problem-solving, prevention, etc. – that’s not what I mean by worry. Logically, we both probably have a full understanding of this concept, but for most of us logic does not always overcome feeling. So what can we do?

God asks us to trust Him.

If worry is your default posture in times of uncertainty, it is imperative that you strengthen your relationship with God in the times of certainty. Being in a scary situation with a calm and dependable companion usually eases the fear. Developing a relationship with the Lord is like that.

Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”

Sometimes our worries become reality, but God is still with us.

Psalm 112:7 “They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.”

Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me”

Meditate on God’s word and memorize scripture in order that you may recall the comforting truth in times of discomfort.

In conclusion, being married to an adrenaline junkie exercises my trust in the Lord. Sometimes I pace the floor with whirling thoughts of worry, sometimes I peacefully fall asleep. Usually, it’s somewhere in the middle. It’s a process of letting go and growing in Christ.

Don’t worry, you can do it! 😉